Drama at work!!!

I tell you..it is definitely not a good ending to my year 2008. So much drama, so much conflict, so much backstabbing, seriously lor..It is never dull at work.

So many things happening that i really don't know how to start. It started last year when i heard this rumour about me at work. I actually don't really care what people say about me, but it went to the manager's ear and it's no longer OK for me to sit still. Well, although my Boss don't believe rumours like that and he assures me that it does not affect anything of his perception on me and told me to be cool about it and it's nothing. But it really does demoralized me. I mean who doesn't feel that way? My boss sits directly opposite me the moment he stands he can see me, i mean don't tell me i am that ignorant and stupid that i something and my boss is not aware?

Anyway, the rumor spreads that i sleep at work. I was really flabbergasted when i heard that. I mean..come on!!!! There are so many walking up and down, and my boss is sitting directly in front of me? Who the hell in this world would be so so stupid!!! Anyway, we work 12 hours straight at work, with no overtime!!! And now they are even cutting back on the food allowance. As you know, my work deals a lot with documentation, yes, it's very very boring for some people. It's like pages and pages of words..words and numbers and more words and numbers.. It strains your eyes a lot and facing the computer screen for hours will definitely take a toll on your eyes. I mean, don't i deserve at least 15 mins of break? Time to rest my eyes..like shut my eyes??? Well, i blink my eyes ever other second, accuse me of sleeping then?

I even go to work when i am sick, and i drive from Klang. You know how dangerous is that when you are on drugs medicine? If one whistle blower happen to walk by? Will they know that i am sick and still came to work? they wouldn't know right? Only my immediate boss can judge me on that. So now, i don't really care because when i am sick i just stay home as no one appreciates when you go to work when you are sick. They will just complain, so fuck that. I am staying home and rest. FYI, this happen early this year.

Recently, another issue came up. Sigh, i tell you, i am a person that can't fine my feelings for long and i don't know how to pretend. When i don't like you, it definitely shows. I did that once to her (my idiotic colleague that seems can't stop gossiping about other people) and eventually she starts talking to me again and i let bygones be bygones and forgave her. I truly did, i thought she has backed off...but no, she is back again.

I really am really stressed after i found out what she had said about me and my other colleague. I mean what has my doing affect her? Am i that influential? Am i that great that whatever i do affects her? Well, she complaint that me and my other colleagues always comes in late to work and makes her feel pressured. WHAT THE FUCK??? What has it got to do with her being pressured? She doesn't even do the products that i do? Even if i am on leave she doesn't follow up on my pending transaction!! What the hell does she even care if i am not around?

My boss did not even say anything because our company suppose to be flexible. We work more than 9 to 5, so most managers give and take. You are in no position to even make any remarks, you are not even my mentor or supervisor or my senior. You are in the same fucking position that i am and why care to what time i come in to work? Let the manager rate me, in the end, it affects my ratings, not yours!! SO WHY YOU FUCKING CARE??!!??!!

I don't understand why people can act cute and innocent in front of you and acts worst than a witch behind you. I seriously don't understand how she can act super-duper nice to me and back-stab me and cry about it. At that moment i wanted to go up to my boss and counter attack, but then i realised that why should i do that? If i do that then i would be the same as her, and i won't forgive myself for that action. So, i guess the best defense is sometimes not to defend at all. Why should i justify myself when i have not done anything wrong? It is because i am at fault then only i should justify my actions. So, that is why i am keeping quiet.

I am ignoring her for good, i come to work, completes it and go home. No more interaction with her anymore. I have been courteous and too nice. Now i just want to get my work done and go home. So, just stay with the people that brings you positive energy and stay away from the people that pulls you down and drain your spirit.