I need more time!!!!

Time really flies, then i realise that 1/4 of the year had past....my Chinese New Year template is still up..haha...time to take it down eh..That is also how long i have neglected my blog.

Chinese New Year passed in a flash, didn't do much this year. It's very quiet and not as merry as the year before. I've done lesser visiting, i feel like i'm too old to be going around collecting red packets. And it is getting lesser by the years...not complaining though, i blame my age..haha

I've started my German Language class after 2 years that i have completed my beginner's level. Thank god i didn't lose touch on the grammar and vocabs, just need a little freshen up. I think i'm doing quite well, i'm finally catching up. Initially Goethe Institut didn't allow me to do my 2nd Level, the reason was that the certificate availability is only for 2 years. But i convince them i don't need to go through the 1st level and that i am confident that i can catch up the 2nd level.

As you know, they try to say anything to make you think twice. They say things like, the 2nd level is more difficult (i'm like duh!!), more grammar, more vocabs, (well, definitely i'm expecting that right?). Well, i'm very determine not to start from the beginner's level again. I've done once in a Volkhochschule in Bad Krueznach, Germany. Then when i came back to Malaysia and did the 1st level for the certificate sake because in Germany i didn't get a certificate for it. No, i won't go through the 1st level for the 3rd time.

So, they gave me an ultimatum. Either i join the 1st level or i can join the 2nd level, but they will not allow me to fall back to the 1st level if i can't catch up. It seems that the 1st level class is always full, come to see it, the Saturday class 1st level can still accommodate me if they want to.

But hey..i die die also will never fall back lar....i pay more for the 2nd level course le...But that is not the main issue here, i just want to move on and i know the 1st level is not a challenge for me. I just need to improve more on the rule of DATIV and AKKUSATIV, damn..i get confuse on when to use which... I just need more practice.

Just a little update on what i am doing currently. Will be taking another major exam on the 16th of April which is the Certified Documentary Credit Specialist (CDCS) examination. I work late on all my week days, i'm too tired to study at night as i need to get up early the next day for work. Saturday i have my German class and i feel bad that i sometimes don't do the homework given, it's just my priority right now is my exam as i am not sponsored by the company. They think that i'm willing to pay for myself because i am planning to leave to company after that (what bull is that right?). Anyway, this topic requires another blog entry which i will do. So, i'm juggling my Saturday night for my German hausaufgabe and reading for my CDCS exam.

Please hope that i can pull this through, and for this i took a week of on the last week of March to get prepared and catch up on my revision. I hope it is worth it..yea..i guess it is :)

Drama at work!!!

I tell you..it is definitely not a good ending to my year 2008. So much drama, so much conflict, so much backstabbing, seriously lor..It is never dull at work.

So many things happening that i really don't know how to start. It started last year when i heard this rumour about me at work. I actually don't really care what people say about me, but it went to the manager's ear and it's no longer OK for me to sit still. Well, although my Boss don't believe rumours like that and he assures me that it does not affect anything of his perception on me and told me to be cool about it and it's nothing. But it really does demoralized me. I mean who doesn't feel that way? My boss sits directly opposite me the moment he stands he can see me, i mean don't tell me i am that ignorant and stupid that i something and my boss is not aware?

Anyway, the rumor spreads that i sleep at work. I was really flabbergasted when i heard that. I mean..come on!!!! There are so many walking up and down, and my boss is sitting directly in front of me? Who the hell in this world would be so so stupid!!! Anyway, we work 12 hours straight at work, with no overtime!!! And now they are even cutting back on the food allowance. As you know, my work deals a lot with documentation, yes, it's very very boring for some people. It's like pages and pages of words..words and numbers and more words and numbers.. It strains your eyes a lot and facing the computer screen for hours will definitely take a toll on your eyes. I mean, don't i deserve at least 15 mins of break? Time to rest my eyes..like shut my eyes??? Well, i blink my eyes ever other second, accuse me of sleeping then?

I even go to work when i am sick, and i drive from Klang. You know how dangerous is that when you are on drugs medicine? If one whistle blower happen to walk by? Will they know that i am sick and still came to work? they wouldn't know right? Only my immediate boss can judge me on that. So now, i don't really care because when i am sick i just stay home as no one appreciates when you go to work when you are sick. They will just complain, so fuck that. I am staying home and rest. FYI, this happen early this year.

Recently, another issue came up. Sigh, i tell you, i am a person that can't fine my feelings for long and i don't know how to pretend. When i don't like you, it definitely shows. I did that once to her (my idiotic colleague that seems can't stop gossiping about other people) and eventually she starts talking to me again and i let bygones be bygones and forgave her. I truly did, i thought she has backed off...but no, she is back again.

I really am really stressed after i found out what she had said about me and my other colleague. I mean what has my doing affect her? Am i that influential? Am i that great that whatever i do affects her? Well, she complaint that me and my other colleagues always comes in late to work and makes her feel pressured. WHAT THE FUCK??? What has it got to do with her being pressured? She doesn't even do the products that i do? Even if i am on leave she doesn't follow up on my pending transaction!! What the hell does she even care if i am not around?

My boss did not even say anything because our company suppose to be flexible. We work more than 9 to 5, so most managers give and take. You are in no position to even make any remarks, you are not even my mentor or supervisor or my senior. You are in the same fucking position that i am and why care to what time i come in to work? Let the manager rate me, in the end, it affects my ratings, not yours!! SO WHY YOU FUCKING CARE??!!??!!

I don't understand why people can act cute and innocent in front of you and acts worst than a witch behind you. I seriously don't understand how she can act super-duper nice to me and back-stab me and cry about it. At that moment i wanted to go up to my boss and counter attack, but then i realised that why should i do that? If i do that then i would be the same as her, and i won't forgive myself for that action. So, i guess the best defense is sometimes not to defend at all. Why should i justify myself when i have not done anything wrong? It is because i am at fault then only i should justify my actions. So, that is why i am keeping quiet.

I am ignoring her for good, i come to work, completes it and go home. No more interaction with her anymore. I have been courteous and too nice. Now i just want to get my work done and go home. So, just stay with the people that brings you positive energy and stay away from the people that pulls you down and drain your spirit.

Peer Pressure???

Will you consider this as peer pressure ah? i really don't know.. I am so confused these days that it has been driving me nuts. OK, let me tell you a true story...yes it's a very long and true story. I never tell a short story..no short cuts..all detailed and precise.

To cut the long story short (pun intended). Think about this.. how far will you go to help a friend? Let's put the I'll sacrifice my life to help you and all that, some people will go to that extend la. My situation here is helping a friend who is not from Kuala Lumpur, to get a simple item from a particular outlet in Sunway Pyramid. You can see it is not that difficult or complicated right? Just to get something for a friend.

Ohh..not that simple!!! There is nothing simple about my dramatic life.. full of challenges and complications. I mean, I am all with helping a friend, i am more than willing to help out a friend. But for me, when i ask a Friend to do me a favour, i will ask if it is not of too much trouble, i want to be sure that my friend is OK with it and most important if that friend of mine can find time and the convenience to do it.

Well, when my friend ask me to get it, i agreed because..hey, that's what a friend would do right? Fro then on...my nightmare begins, my friend told me on a Saturday, then in the evening, call me again to remind me..i told my friend straight that i will not promise when i will go and get it, but i will definitely go and get it. I thought to myself that no way that i will drive down to Sunway Pyramid from Klang just to collect a HANDBAG.

My very persistent friend called me again on a Sunway morning when i was still fast asleep, again to remind me to get the bag. I told again that i can't promise when...bla bla bla...but i definitely will...bla bla bla...so on and so forth. I mean, give me a break..tell me once and shut up..i will arrange my time to my convenience, you don't have to remind me every fucking minute. I am not deaf or dumb.

On Monday, when i was at work. My friend called again to remind me, damn..this is getting too much, disturbing me during working hours to remind me of her stupid handbag. I so wanted to shout at her..but no..being a good friend that i am..i controlled my temper, because i know that my friend is not an educated person (she studied on;y till form 1) and please don't ask me how i got to her know. Well, she called at 1030am to remind me...and call me at 1100am AGAIN!!! What is so big deal about this bag?? Well, it is a limited edition bag that cost RM590.00!!

At 1100am she called me to tell me that she had booked the bag and i have no choice but to go and collect today because the supervisor of that outlet didn't want to hold it because there are too many people that made bookings later cancelled. What the hell?? Giving me more pressure right? My willingness to help a friend became a chore and a task that i have to perform. For the first time i felt used and taken advantage of... No friend should make you feel that way. I felt a little guilt as i don't think a friend should complain or feel the way like i did when helping a friend.

My friend given me the outlet's number and ask me to call this person that she was talking too. I thought no hurry, I'll go out for my lunch and i will call later when i can find time after lunch. Does she give me a peaceful lunch?? Apparently no??!!!???!!! She called me midway through lunch and questioned me why have i not called the outlet because she called the outlet and checked if i called and i did not?? What the fuck!! Leave me alone will ya!!! Your handbag is so so so important that you have to call and check up on me..seriously..she has too much time in hand lor...

I was very very angry and told her in a very stern voice that i am now having lunch and will call the outlet after lunch. She even said things like 'if you can't just tell me, i will ask my husband to take me down to KL during the weekend and take it by myself'. Well, yes, she is married!! I hate it when people threaten me. Then what is the difference me going to get the bag on Friday? Does it make any difference that i go and get it on a Friday?? No right?? It is still earlier than the weekends? Then what's the rush? I just don't understand!!!

I tell you she called me 5 more times after lunch which i ignore 2 of that calls. It is really distracting you know. Lucky that Celina has helped me by calling one of her friend that is working at Sunway Resort to help me collect that stupid bag. don't know what will i do if it's weren't for her help. Now i have to trouble my friend to help me get a bag for my other friend that my friend have to ask her friend to get the stupid bag for my other friend that my friend have not even met before. Seriously..i don't know what the hell i am talking about.

What length that i have to go through to get this bag? Full of shit. Then i have to deposit money to Celina's friend bank account. Come on..people won't fork out RM600 to get that stupid bag lar.. Truthfully, after seeing that bag, all my mind could think of is 'This is one ugly piece of shit'. Who in the world would buy a small bag that cost RM 590.00 and it's in silver metallic.

Yea.. Here's the picture!!

Told you it's one ugly piece of shit.

Sigh...This is the last time i am doing anymore favour for this friend of mine.. No more! No more!! I tell you and i am saying it again.... NO MORE!!!!

Weird People!

These few weeks i have encountered a few funny scenarios, OK i won't say funny, perhaps weird. Yea, that's the word, WEIRD! Which at one point irritates me and makes me think and i don't really understand their intentions.

One morning, i got out of the house getting ready to go to work, started my car engine and this lady that is staying around my neighborhood greeted me. Well, she thought i was my mother you see. When she came nearer than she realize it wasn't my mother. She was like, 'Oh, i thought it was your mother' (Yea, most people got mix up between me and my mom. So i got kind of used to the confusion). 'You are a bit fatter than you mom' she said. I was like 'huh??!! first time you talking to me and you are calling me fat??!!! Wah, really unexpected lo. I was caught and flabergasted (i was thinking, don't need to remind me that i am fat lor, i know i am fat la. Tell me something that i don't know at least)

Anyway, she continued talking to me although she can see i started the car engine and opening my house gate and getting ready to jump into the car. She continued talking to me as if i am another auntie, taking my own time putting up the clothes and hanging out at the lawn and gossiping with the other auntie neighbors. She ask 'How come i never seen your mother? Your mother never comes out one is it? Reluctantly i answered her, My mom is sleeping and yea she seldom comes out of the house. She likes to stay in.

Then she continued
Lady: Oh, I am just staying around the corner here. Just moved in into the Jugjit's House. Just there only (pointing her fingers to the direction of her house)
Me: I see, I don't know them (Gave her a smile)
Lady: Ah??? You don't know the Jugjit ah? Stay there one (Pointing her finger again)
Me: (Force myself to look at the direction of her finger) Nope, don't know them.
Lady: Ahh??? You don't know your neighbors? You don't come out and mix around with your neighbors? It's good to come out and mix around and get to know your neighbors.
Me: (Gave her a forced grin) I work till late at night, so i don't have the time to come out and talk to other neighbors. OK, i need to go to work now. Bye!

This auntie is trying to teach me how to lead my life la. Which i find it annoying lor. !st of all after greeting me for the first time, she called me fat. Nevermind, i still layan her. Then comment on my mom not hanging out with the neighbors, which i feel is so unnecessary. After that, telling me that i should mix around with the neighbors.

Wah, my conclusion is, i am not a full-time housewife and i have no obligation to 'mix around' with the other neighbors and building any fellowship with them. Imagining me standing around with the group of aunties talking about their husbands and kids or even grandkids. Me talk about what? Little Joey(baby that my mom babysits) ah?

Sigh, just leave me alone and leave my life alone. Don't tell me what i should or should not do!

Another incident was over lunch with my colleagues. 4 of us went out for lunch, i mean naturally after makan we will have a short chat la. One of my colleague don't speak mandarin, so i find it kind of rude to be speaking in mandarin when someone doesn't understand it is sitting at the same table.

The other 2 of my colleagues was talking in mandarin about something. I mean naturally i will be listening to their conversation right. After one of them have finished talking, i didn't heard the last part of the conversation. So, naturally i asked, what did you say? I didn't get to hear the last part. My colleague looked at me and blink a few times and finally say 'Nothing!'

I was like..idiot! If it is something you don't want me to listen to, then why talk openly on an open table where anyone sitting around you can listen to your conversation. If it is a fucking secret, then move to another table and talk. It is already disrespectful to be speaking another language that one person sitting at the table does not understand. And when someone understands the language asking, you answered nothing!!!

I really don't like people like this. Made me feel like a dumbass lor!!! I just don't understand the whole situation. I don't know what her intentions are. Talking about something openly, but when someone ask you don't want to elaborate further. Make me feel like i am the busybody one lor.

Can anyone explain to me what's going on ah? I am so confused now lor? Shocked! Dumbfounded! Flabbergasted! Annoyed! Irritated! Angry! Agitated! I really don't know what i am feeling right now.