Breaking Free!!!

This post has been long overdue, i just can't find the time to just sit down and blog properly this whole year. As you can see this year is really productive for me personally as i have been doing things that i can't split myself or give myself time to...you know..BLOG!

I don't want to say i am finally back...as you can see..when i finally thought i can spend some time here..then something will surely come up..so..no promises here..I'll blog as frequent as i can..definitely. Anyhow, there are a few unfinished entry in my draft right now that i am contemplating whether i should post it or not, kinda embarrassing to post up events that had happened early this year...hehe. As you know..it's almost the end of the year.

I guess i will eventually post it, as i don't care anymore. Yup, my new year resolution will be, 'Do not let anyone take advantage of you'. Why this motto? Because people treat me like shit and i will not let anyone do that to me anymore. So many people around me that disappoint me, so i will not anyone affect me or my emotions or my actions anymore. I'll do what i want and i do what makes me happy. Hear this, you will not take my dignity away from me and i will not let you treat me like i do not exist.

I have made a lot of thinking about this, whatever happens from early this year till now, anything good or bad, has been playing on my mind all year round and i had enough. Yes, i know i am old and it take me so long to learn. That was my weakest point, i trust people too much and i have faith in people and i believe that there is some good things in them. But after so many 'unfortunate event', i have already think it through as i envy people who can just breakaway..and i will, eventually i will.

I know I've been rambling on like some crazy woman, but it just flows out from me. I am saying this not on impulse but these thoughts have been in my mind over and over again. These 'events' keep playing and rewinding itself in my head. I won't let them affect me anymore. My New Year will be a great one..i know. I'm finally breaking free of all things bad!

The Big Bad Wolf Books Sale!

I'm totally broke for the next few months, you know why? Because there was this certain Big Bad Wolf that bit a big chunk out of my purse. I went crazy during this time as i missed the first Big Bad Wolf Books Sale, so i thought since i missed the first one i should compensate by buying more this time to make it up for the last one i missed, get it?

Yup, i bought a total of 80 books...YUP, you heard 80 books. I know i went overboard with it, but i bought books mostly are bestsellers and thank god i grab hold of the books on the first day, because when i went back the next day, it was all gone.

I sneak out during lunch hours and with the limited parking at Amcorp Mall, you can imagine the traffic and the jam that they caused. I parked illegally (yea..saman la), i don't really care much, i just want to get my books. I see all these people coming up with boxes of books get me all excited inside ...felt like i had a bookgasm. March up to the 3rd floor and found out that they did not allow us in. My god, you should see the amount of people jam-packed into one small area. They looked like sardines in a can and i am about to join in.

I waited for like 10 mins and they finally let us it, you see people literally running in to grab hold of those empty boxes provided and disappeared into the crowd. I remember throughout my whole half an hour of randomly picking up books, each time i have to say 'Excuse Me' and 'Sorry'. You can even stop and browse the books and you know why? Because the queue from the cashier snakes through the whole place. and you don't know where did the queue ended. Seriously, it was that bad!

I have to just follow the flow of the current of people as i can't stop. I just grab any books that i can reach, grab and grab and grab. People are very nice as they understand it's so crowded in there that we have to squeeze our way through. But there are a few bad apples you know, this guy, quite young, handsome man, dressed very formal was walking towards me, but i can't move as there are people queueing upon both sides, so i try to turn to the left to let him cross, but he was no gentleman, all he does was 'tsk'. My god, a man dress for smartly but attitute like some uneducated brat. Hello!!! We are all educated people there, all avid readers, so use your common sense and rationality when you got into the crowd. You should have expected what will happen when you get in there.

Anyway, that did not affect me, i'm too thrill that i got so many good books. I know i can't make it in time for work if i were to queue up that time. So, i reserved my books and came back towards the evening and pay for my reserved books, hehe. Luckily, Big Bad Wolf provides a little help to ease the buyings from carrying big heavy boxes, they provide trolleys...Wow, i was so thankful that i need not carry the box down 3 floors with my bare hands. Well, it made no difference as my arms ache the next day anyway :)

These are the Damages from the Big Bad Wolf Sale!


A Man called Dave and Moving Forward by Dave Pezler
Chicken Soup For the Soul
Be Happy Without Being Perfect



The Associate by John Grisham
Disclosure by Michael Crichton
Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
Cat O'Nine Tales, First Among Equals and A Matter of Honour by Jeffrey Archer



The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Carrie, Blaze and Pet Semetry by Stephen King

Classics

Beloved by Toni Morisson
A Mercy by Toni Morisson
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Frankenstein by Mary Shelly
Sexing the Cherry by Jeanette Winterson

Asian Authors
A Loyal Character Dancer, When Red is Black and Red Mandarin Dress by Qiu Xiaolong
20 Fragments of A Ravenous Youth and A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers by Xiaolu Guo
Miss Chopsticks by Xinran
Real World by Natsuo Kirino

More Asian Authors
Brilliance of The Moon, Grass For His Pillow and Across the Nightingale Floor by Lian Hearn
Snow Princess by Laura Joh Rowland
Once On A Moonless Night by Dai Sijie


Second Sight, Wicked Widow and With This Ring by Amanda QuickMr. Cavendish, I Presume and The Lost Duke of Wyndham By Julia Quinn

French Women For All Season by Mireille Guiliano
Two Lipsticks and A Lover by Helena Firth Powell
Second Prize by Chris Manby
All be cause of You and Wishful Thinking by Melissa Hill
Acting Up by Melissa Nathan

Tempt Me At Twilight, Seduce Me At Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas

An Affair Before Christmas and Desperate Duchess by Eloisa James

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates

Wish You Were Here by Mike Gayle

The Road, No Country For Old Man and The Crossing by Cormac Mc Carthy

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Hurting distance by Sophie Hannah

A Spot of Brother by Mark Haddon

Christ The Lord (Road to Cana) by Anne Rice

Beyong Ugly by Constance Briscoe

Devil Bones and Break No Bones by Kathy Reichs

The Point Of Rescue by Sophie Hannah

The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold

Little Hut of Leaping Fishes by Chiew-Siah Tei

Heaven's Net Is Wide by Lian Hearn

Dream Angus by Alexander McCall Smith

How to Walk in High Heels and A Year In High Heels by Camilia Morton

Girl in High Heels by Ellouise Moore

The Little Giant of Aberdeen County by Tiffany Baker

Free Gift With Purchase by Jean Godfrey-June

The Secret Shopper Unwrap by Kate Harisson

Vintage by Olivia Darling

All these are my reads supply for the next two years or so, hehe. Bought far too many chick lits but you can never go wrong with chick lits, always funny and light and easy read without the need to crack your head.

Recently, i've develop interest in Historical Fiction. It started off with 'The Other Boleyn Girl' by Phillipa Gregory and it rolls from there. I've never been this interested on anything before this, makes me want to find out more about King Henry VIII and all his six wives. Thus, the purchase of all Dukes and Duches inspired books.

Bought a lot of books with AsianThemes and Asian Authors, can't help it. Anything related to Asians just intrigues me, just something that we can relate to you know. Futhermore, you can help 'Ka Ki Lang' ma right?

I Love You Grandma, May You Rest in Peace.

Today is the final day of my Grandmother's funeral, we have buried her with my grandfather and she finally rest in peace with him. We were not asked to wear the traditional attire as my mother was given away, so we were consider illegitimate. Due to respect, we still were there to pay our last respect throughout the 3 days.

Our last prayer this morning was an emotional one, i told myself not to cry but my tears just flow and i couldn't help it. It is a tradtion that we were not allowed to look when the coffin is moved, even at the cemetery when the people move her coffin to the burial ground and laying the coffin in, we were not allowed to see unless the coffin is idle.

I remember i did ask my grandfather (from my father's side) why can't we look? I was told that we are not allowed to look because we don't want to hold her spirit back. If we look back, means that we don't want her spirit to leave and she can't move on to afterlife. That is how the tradition derived.

I knew my Grandmother was with us when they moved her coffin out of the house. I smell something from our childhood, the smell that reminds me of grandma. Me and my sister Melodee was like looking at each other, we are saying like, 'it's Grandma'. The smell brings back memories that we spend time with my Grandma, that very smell reminds us of her. It was the smell of loveletter. Our memories with her was sitting down around the hot charcoal and making loveletters for Chinese New Year. We usually gather, everyone will be there, making loveletters.

Grandma, you will always be in our hearts and never forgotten. Everytime i smell of loveletters, it reminds me of you. Love you Grandma and may you rest in peace.

I need more time!!!!

Time really flies, then i realise that 1/4 of the year had past....my Chinese New Year template is still up..haha...time to take it down eh..That is also how long i have neglected my blog.

Chinese New Year passed in a flash, didn't do much this year. It's very quiet and not as merry as the year before. I've done lesser visiting, i feel like i'm too old to be going around collecting red packets. And it is getting lesser by the years...not complaining though, i blame my age..haha

I've started my German Language class after 2 years that i have completed my beginner's level. Thank god i didn't lose touch on the grammar and vocabs, just need a little freshen up. I think i'm doing quite well, i'm finally catching up. Initially Goethe Institut didn't allow me to do my 2nd Level, the reason was that the certificate availability is only for 2 years. But i convince them i don't need to go through the 1st level and that i am confident that i can catch up the 2nd level.

As you know, they try to say anything to make you think twice. They say things like, the 2nd level is more difficult (i'm like duh!!), more grammar, more vocabs, (well, definitely i'm expecting that right?). Well, i'm very determine not to start from the beginner's level again. I've done once in a Volkhochschule in Bad Krueznach, Germany. Then when i came back to Malaysia and did the 1st level for the certificate sake because in Germany i didn't get a certificate for it. No, i won't go through the 1st level for the 3rd time.

So, they gave me an ultimatum. Either i join the 1st level or i can join the 2nd level, but they will not allow me to fall back to the 1st level if i can't catch up. It seems that the 1st level class is always full, come to see it, the Saturday class 1st level can still accommodate me if they want to.

But hey..i die die also will never fall back lar....i pay more for the 2nd level course le...But that is not the main issue here, i just want to move on and i know the 1st level is not a challenge for me. I just need to improve more on the rule of DATIV and AKKUSATIV, damn..i get confuse on when to use which... I just need more practice.

Just a little update on what i am doing currently. Will be taking another major exam on the 16th of April which is the Certified Documentary Credit Specialist (CDCS) examination. I work late on all my week days, i'm too tired to study at night as i need to get up early the next day for work. Saturday i have my German class and i feel bad that i sometimes don't do the homework given, it's just my priority right now is my exam as i am not sponsored by the company. They think that i'm willing to pay for myself because i am planning to leave to company after that (what bull is that right?). Anyway, this topic requires another blog entry which i will do. So, i'm juggling my Saturday night for my German hausaufgabe and reading for my CDCS exam.

Please hope that i can pull this through, and for this i took a week of on the last week of March to get prepared and catch up on my revision. I hope it is worth it..yea..i guess it is :)