I Love You Grandma, May You Rest in Peace.

Today is the final day of my Grandmother's funeral, we have buried her with my grandfather and she finally rest in peace with him. We were not asked to wear the traditional attire as my mother was given away, so we were consider illegitimate. Due to respect, we still were there to pay our last respect throughout the 3 days.

Our last prayer this morning was an emotional one, i told myself not to cry but my tears just flow and i couldn't help it. It is a tradtion that we were not allowed to look when the coffin is moved, even at the cemetery when the people move her coffin to the burial ground and laying the coffin in, we were not allowed to see unless the coffin is idle.

I remember i did ask my grandfather (from my father's side) why can't we look? I was told that we are not allowed to look because we don't want to hold her spirit back. If we look back, means that we don't want her spirit to leave and she can't move on to afterlife. That is how the tradition derived.

I knew my Grandmother was with us when they moved her coffin out of the house. I smell something from our childhood, the smell that reminds me of grandma. Me and my sister Melodee was like looking at each other, we are saying like, 'it's Grandma'. The smell brings back memories that we spend time with my Grandma, that very smell reminds us of her. It was the smell of loveletter. Our memories with her was sitting down around the hot charcoal and making loveletters for Chinese New Year. We usually gather, everyone will be there, making loveletters.

Grandma, you will always be in our hearts and never forgotten. Everytime i smell of loveletters, it reminds me of you. Love you Grandma and may you rest in peace.