Still pushing through....

It's nearly the end of another year. It has gone by in a flash, it seems like just yesterday i just came back from my trip to Bali. Every piece of memory still vividly paints my thoughts. I never had so much fun before in all of my trips, hopefully my trip next year to Cambodia will be as unforgettable as my trip to the Island of Gods.

I let another year gone by without improving myself academically, physically and mentally. Basically i am still the same as i first started entering year 2008. I felt i have wasted so much of my time for the past few years. Giving myself excuses for what i can't do to make myself feel better and feeling worst everytime i try to find more excuses for myself.

I'm not really a fan of making resolutions, why make any when you can't even follow through it? So, yea..i am being a hypocrite here. So, i am making a resolution that i will follow through all of the resolution that I'll make coming 2009. Well, i hope i can like fully make at least 1 resolution happen. I'm not going to let another year gone by without any improvement or changes into my routine.

One thing that really boost my confidence is that i got headhunted. Twice in fact, which is great for me. Working with the same company for more than 3 years has made me too comfortable. I have not even consider throwing myself out there in the market again. Finding better prospects for my career and getting paid for what i am really worth.

So, i am putting myself out there again finally, and now, i have to pull back. The economy is not looking very good, by next year there will be nearly 5000 people getting retrenched. Hopefully that I'm not in that pool of people, feeling insecure right now. Moving jobs now is definitely not an option, better to stay put for now. That is what people has been telling me.

I assume next year won't be a very good year, financially wise. Although the petrol price has gone down gradually, the food price did not decrease even a single cent. Way to go to hike up the petrol price drastically without even considering the long term effect it will bring to the RAKYAT. I say that is a good judgement there from the government.

This year i have put a lot of thought of furthering my studies part time. Thought of doing early childhood education, also to do my Masters which i have not thought of what major i should take, maybe something related to my job. Even thought of continuing my German Language class, i have stopped for more than 3 years. So many things in mind, but no action. I have that i procrastinate, but i have so many things to think about. Financially especially, and i am not making any excuses, trust me.

I have made a very important decision, which i will be taking a major exam next year in April. It cost me more than RM2500 to sit for this paper, and i don't wish to flunk it. Thinking of postponing the test to the year 2010, but why wait so long? i would get lazier if i keep thinking i still have a lot of time to get prepared. I'm definitely a last minute person, i work and study in stress. Which i cannot afford to do so right now as it involves my life savings.

And surprisingly, i will be attending my 2nd level of German lessons on the 12th of January 2009. Yup, i put myself in more stress and disaster. I will i manage my time? I really don't know. But i know i spend to much of my time at home and it is not healthy. Well, wish me luck! I'll enter the year 2009 with a bang!

Drama at work!!!

I tell you..it is definitely not a good ending to my year 2008. So much drama, so much conflict, so much backstabbing, seriously lor..It is never dull at work.

So many things happening that i really don't know how to start. It started last year when i heard this rumour about me at work. I actually don't really care what people say about me, but it went to the manager's ear and it's no longer OK for me to sit still. Well, although my Boss don't believe rumours like that and he assures me that it does not affect anything of his perception on me and told me to be cool about it and it's nothing. But it really does demoralized me. I mean who doesn't feel that way? My boss sits directly opposite me the moment he stands he can see me, i mean don't tell me i am that ignorant and stupid that i something and my boss is not aware?

Anyway, the rumor spreads that i sleep at work. I was really flabbergasted when i heard that. I mean..come on!!!! There are so many walking up and down, and my boss is sitting directly in front of me? Who the hell in this world would be so so stupid!!! Anyway, we work 12 hours straight at work, with no overtime!!! And now they are even cutting back on the food allowance. As you know, my work deals a lot with documentation, yes, it's very very boring for some people. It's like pages and pages of words..words and numbers and more words and numbers.. It strains your eyes a lot and facing the computer screen for hours will definitely take a toll on your eyes. I mean, don't i deserve at least 15 mins of break? Time to rest my eyes..like shut my eyes??? Well, i blink my eyes ever other second, accuse me of sleeping then?

I even go to work when i am sick, and i drive from Klang. You know how dangerous is that when you are on drugs medicine? If one whistle blower happen to walk by? Will they know that i am sick and still came to work? they wouldn't know right? Only my immediate boss can judge me on that. So now, i don't really care because when i am sick i just stay home as no one appreciates when you go to work when you are sick. They will just complain, so fuck that. I am staying home and rest. FYI, this happen early this year.

Recently, another issue came up. Sigh, i tell you, i am a person that can't fine my feelings for long and i don't know how to pretend. When i don't like you, it definitely shows. I did that once to her (my idiotic colleague that seems can't stop gossiping about other people) and eventually she starts talking to me again and i let bygones be bygones and forgave her. I truly did, i thought she has backed off...but no, she is back again.

I really am really stressed after i found out what she had said about me and my other colleague. I mean what has my doing affect her? Am i that influential? Am i that great that whatever i do affects her? Well, she complaint that me and my other colleagues always comes in late to work and makes her feel pressured. WHAT THE FUCK??? What has it got to do with her being pressured? She doesn't even do the products that i do? Even if i am on leave she doesn't follow up on my pending transaction!! What the hell does she even care if i am not around?

My boss did not even say anything because our company suppose to be flexible. We work more than 9 to 5, so most managers give and take. You are in no position to even make any remarks, you are not even my mentor or supervisor or my senior. You are in the same fucking position that i am and why care to what time i come in to work? Let the manager rate me, in the end, it affects my ratings, not yours!! SO WHY YOU FUCKING CARE??!!??!!

I don't understand why people can act cute and innocent in front of you and acts worst than a witch behind you. I seriously don't understand how she can act super-duper nice to me and back-stab me and cry about it. At that moment i wanted to go up to my boss and counter attack, but then i realised that why should i do that? If i do that then i would be the same as her, and i won't forgive myself for that action. So, i guess the best defense is sometimes not to defend at all. Why should i justify myself when i have not done anything wrong? It is because i am at fault then only i should justify my actions. So, that is why i am keeping quiet.

I am ignoring her for good, i come to work, completes it and go home. No more interaction with her anymore. I have been courteous and too nice. Now i just want to get my work done and go home. So, just stay with the people that brings you positive energy and stay away from the people that pulls you down and drain your spirit.

Peer Pressure???

Will you consider this as peer pressure ah? i really don't know.. I am so confused these days that it has been driving me nuts. OK, let me tell you a true story...yes it's a very long and true story. I never tell a short story..no short cuts..all detailed and precise.

To cut the long story short (pun intended). Think about this.. how far will you go to help a friend? Let's put the I'll sacrifice my life to help you and all that, some people will go to that extend la. My situation here is helping a friend who is not from Kuala Lumpur, to get a simple item from a particular outlet in Sunway Pyramid. You can see it is not that difficult or complicated right? Just to get something for a friend.

Ohh..not that simple!!! There is nothing simple about my dramatic life.. full of challenges and complications. I mean, I am all with helping a friend, i am more than willing to help out a friend. But for me, when i ask a Friend to do me a favour, i will ask if it is not of too much trouble, i want to be sure that my friend is OK with it and most important if that friend of mine can find time and the convenience to do it.

Well, when my friend ask me to get it, i agreed because..hey, that's what a friend would do right? Fro then on...my nightmare begins, my friend told me on a Saturday, then in the evening, call me again to remind me..i told my friend straight that i will not promise when i will go and get it, but i will definitely go and get it. I thought to myself that no way that i will drive down to Sunway Pyramid from Klang just to collect a HANDBAG.

My very persistent friend called me again on a Sunway morning when i was still fast asleep, again to remind me to get the bag. I told again that i can't promise when...bla bla bla...but i definitely will...bla bla bla...so on and so forth. I mean, give me a break..tell me once and shut up..i will arrange my time to my convenience, you don't have to remind me every fucking minute. I am not deaf or dumb.

On Monday, when i was at work. My friend called again to remind me, damn..this is getting too much, disturbing me during working hours to remind me of her stupid handbag. I so wanted to shout at her..but no..being a good friend that i am..i controlled my temper, because i know that my friend is not an educated person (she studied on;y till form 1) and please don't ask me how i got to her know. Well, she called at 1030am to remind me...and call me at 1100am AGAIN!!! What is so big deal about this bag?? Well, it is a limited edition bag that cost RM590.00!!

At 1100am she called me to tell me that she had booked the bag and i have no choice but to go and collect today because the supervisor of that outlet didn't want to hold it because there are too many people that made bookings later cancelled. What the hell?? Giving me more pressure right? My willingness to help a friend became a chore and a task that i have to perform. For the first time i felt used and taken advantage of... No friend should make you feel that way. I felt a little guilt as i don't think a friend should complain or feel the way like i did when helping a friend.

My friend given me the outlet's number and ask me to call this person that she was talking too. I thought no hurry, I'll go out for my lunch and i will call later when i can find time after lunch. Does she give me a peaceful lunch?? Apparently no??!!!???!!! She called me midway through lunch and questioned me why have i not called the outlet because she called the outlet and checked if i called and i did not?? What the fuck!! Leave me alone will ya!!! Your handbag is so so so important that you have to call and check up on me..seriously..she has too much time in hand lor...

I was very very angry and told her in a very stern voice that i am now having lunch and will call the outlet after lunch. She even said things like 'if you can't just tell me, i will ask my husband to take me down to KL during the weekend and take it by myself'. Well, yes, she is married!! I hate it when people threaten me. Then what is the difference me going to get the bag on Friday? Does it make any difference that i go and get it on a Friday?? No right?? It is still earlier than the weekends? Then what's the rush? I just don't understand!!!

I tell you she called me 5 more times after lunch which i ignore 2 of that calls. It is really distracting you know. Lucky that Celina has helped me by calling one of her friend that is working at Sunway Resort to help me collect that stupid bag. don't know what will i do if it's weren't for her help. Now i have to trouble my friend to help me get a bag for my other friend that my friend have to ask her friend to get the stupid bag for my other friend that my friend have not even met before. Seriously..i don't know what the hell i am talking about.

What length that i have to go through to get this bag? Full of shit. Then i have to deposit money to Celina's friend bank account. Come on..people won't fork out RM600 to get that stupid bag lar.. Truthfully, after seeing that bag, all my mind could think of is 'This is one ugly piece of shit'. Who in the world would buy a small bag that cost RM 590.00 and it's in silver metallic.

Yea.. Here's the picture!!

Told you it's one ugly piece of shit.

Sigh...This is the last time i am doing anymore favour for this friend of mine.. No more! No more!! I tell you and i am saying it again.... NO MORE!!!!

First Step For A Change!

Went for a Walk-in Interview today at CIMB Bukit Tinggi today. It is for the Relationship Manager position, just trying my luck and i did not really prepare for that interview. I just want to get to know what that role could offer me.

A few months back i did get a call from a headhunter from People first Consulting firm, it is quite an established organization. I felt quite secure and convincing that it is not some sort of fraud. My brother did told me that some just want your details to keep update their database. I was given the opportunity to work at Singapore. I jumped at that opportunity but i was lacked with a paper qualification, bummer!

But that is how my job-seeking urges started. A call from this agent has jump-started my desire to look for something new, something better, something that will give me progression work wise and also knowledge too. I understand that it is not easy to find something exactly that i am doing right now. But there are always job that are some-what related to what i am doing now. I am leaving my options open not only to the Banking Industry (although it would be great to be still in this line) but I'm prepared to venture into International Trade or even Logistics.

It would be great that with my trade banking experience can allow me to further explore into banking sector like Investment Banking or Wealth Banking or Consumer Banking...Why not? Higher pay and doing something new and learn new things.

I also realize that when you don't want the job, the interview just went like a breeze. I really don't have pressure during that interview. It was like having a conversation with a new friend, i did not feel like i need to impress the interviewer, i was just being myself. I have never been so calm in an interview. I remember when i initially was looking for a job after graduating. I can feel the pressure and stress in each and every interview. You want to make sure you say the right thing, sit properly, good posture, make sure you don't unintentionally send out the wrong body language. Every movement will be judged.

My purpose was to get a copy of my updated CV to them. I also clearly told them that if they think i am not suitable for this role and if they have anything that is relevant to my current working background, feel free to give me a call. I don't mind a higher paying job and doing exactly what i am doing right now :)

I can Blog at Work!!!!!

Guess what???!!!??!???!??!

I just found out that i can log into my blog account at work!!!! I can Blog at work now!!!
I'm so so happy...Hehehe!!!

Initially cannot access this la cannot access that la. Then suddenly can access to Facebook because our director is using it and allow access. I guess now can access into blogspot maybe it's because my director has a Blog too???

Maybe la, sigh, my company very double standard la. What to do, have no power, then have no say lo.

Anyway, still happy!!!!

Boring Weekend indeed!

Sigh, it's a very boring day for me today. Whole day i have been lazing around at home. So bored that i am too lazy to even go out for a walk. My sister and mom wanted to go for a little stroll at Jusco Bukit Tinggi, initially i really felt like joining them, then after a while i decline their invitation. They were so angry that they need to literally drag me out of the house and into the car.

Sigh, what to do. Then i join them in the end. I told myself not to buy anything, because i have already spend too much this month. I don't even know what i have bought. Let me see, hmmm.. Last month, i was at Sunway Pyramid for a purpose to get specifically a purple colour handbag. Yes, i saw a purple colour bag from a blog and it is from nose. Went there and couldn't find the same design, i guess it was the old season. So i end up buying what?

Yup, a 2000 pieces of Jigsaw Puzzle. Can't buy a bag, get a jigsaw puzzle instead. Something i can fix on my lonely weekends at home. It's glow in the dark :)

I'm crazy, 2000 pieces, it will take me years to complete fixing it. The puzzle damn small you know.

Nice or not? will take a picture when i'm finish with it.

Then last two weeks i at One Utama with both my cousin. My purpose there was also to find a purple bag. Yes, don't ask me about my obsession with purple coloured things. I just couldn't refrain myself from anything purple that i like. I end up buying this as a replacement for something that i couldn't get.

Yeah!! A purple coloured purse :)

I have spent too much, i told myself again today not to buy anything. Must control your spending, must refrain from buying anything. Sigh! Sigh! Sigh! I cannot tahan la, somebody have to stop me. I bought these.

A slipper for only RM 19.90, i know..please kill me now

Wedge Heels for only RM 27.95 (Love this one)

Yea, this one is RM 24.95 all at half price.

That's not the end ...i also bought a foundation from Body Shop. That one cost me RM 75.00. I'm telling myself. No more, no more Shopping!!!!!!!!!! Maybe like for a month only la.

Wedding Woes!

Not my wedding la, I'm not even close to getting married either. If anyone thought i am the one that is having wedding woes, oh-i am so flattered :)

I just don't like being dragged to a wedding dinner that i do not wish to attend. All because it is like an obligation to the family. This Uncle of mine (elder brother to my father) third son(i'll name him nosey) is finally getting married at the age of 38. He is well known in our family for having his nose up on his head.

Well i am going to be very petty here, because i kept all these little things in me for far too long. some even goes back to my childhood days. Yea, i know..i am an elephant. Why did i say i am an elephant? Not literally that i am big, because there is this saying that an elephant never forgets, Haha, lame, i know.

I remember there's this one year my Aunt from Philippines came down for Chinese New Year. She wants to visit all her siblings as usual, who doesn't want when you come from so far for a limited of time for a visit right? This nosey, actually came up to us and said, why are you all still lingering here, do you know that the 2nd day of Chinese New Year we will all go back to my mom's side of family. Now you are here disturbing us. He have this audacity to come up to his close relatives, furthermore your father's own blood and flesh and say such things. All i remember was, we made some stupid excuse and left the place.

Another incident was he was talking to my father, you know he only talks to people that only speaks 'English'? Well, sop that's why i can say the only Uncle that he could give 'not full respect' but just a 'teeny bit of little respect' is my father. Well, we have half Mat Salleh blood ma since you guys don't know. Back to my story, so this nosey was complaining that we have mistreated his mother. So, that is the reason why he didn't want to be close to the cousins and aunties or uncles from his father side of the family.

Well, my father was quite agitated. Because a young guy like him have so much hatred in him that it affects the relationship among family. My father told him that you are only listening to one side of the story, you don't know the whole truth. Anyway it has happen 30 or 40 years ago and you weren't even born. Why want to remember things that has literally no impact on you? He said he loves his mom and he will believe everything she say. My dad replies, Yes, we love our moms, and it is not wrong to listen to what she have to say. But you weren't there when it happen? Why the hatred has to be brought down to your generation? That happens between your mom and her 'In-Laws'.

As you know my hard headed cousin (even embarrass to call him my cousin, i'll stick to nosey), right nosey argued with my father saying that he is wrong and his mom were right. My father got angry and said..you want the truth? I will tell you the truth, did you know that your mom attacked me with a hot cooking spade? You want prove? Saw this deep scar on my thigh, because your mom sliced it using the cooking spade. After that incident, he never talk to us again.

This time, his wedding day. He dare not call and ask my dad for a favour, instead he ask his father to do his dirty work. Nosey requested my dad to get a mercedez car for him to 'fetch his bride'. Not just any mercedez, he doesn't want a block one, preferable a white one. Wah, so many conditions, you might as well give me which car model you want. If want to be this specific, go rent one. He boast about going traveling all around the world already. His boss is so good to him. Go la borrow his mercedez, or he doesn't have one to borrow you?

Sigh..the only thing i am excited about is i am meeting up with all my other cousins and we plan to go out after that wedding. Karaoke perhaps?

Lunch at iThai Cafe (Millennium Square)

Me and my colleagues have another big lunch gathering!! This time there are 7 of us, squeeze into Kenneth's Avanza. Since there weren't much to do at work and it is a public holiday today, there weren't much car on the road. so, we decided to drive over to PJ at Millennium Square for lunch.

Took us about 15 minutes to get there, it is a working day in Malaysia, i don't think we could reach there in 15 minutes. I've been there before with Canna and Hadrian one night after work. That time we were at Piccadilly. This time we had lunch at iThai Cafe, mix of Italian and Thai food.

The food pricing is quite reasonable, most importantly it taste great. Patrick asked us whether we want to sit inside the restaurant or we rather have the river view. Tetty quickly answered she wanted the river view. We were thinking, river in the middle of PJ? Then when we standing at the railing, aiya, it was just a big big longkang la, haha.

Saw the big longkang (drain) down there?

Kind of empty during Raya, Public Holiday plus all Balik Kampung.

Shita giving the peace sign and Tetty busy ordering

Kennth and Patrick waiting for the food to be served.

Finally, Kenneth's Basil and chicken soup is here. (RM7)

So big the claypot, so much can share 2 people le. But he finish alone, hehe.

Mushroom soup with toast (RM5.50)

Filled with button mushrooms, not too bad as i had tasted better mushroom soups.

The Pad Thai Noodles (RM6.50)

Looks nice inside. Very spicy and don't be fooled by it's size, it's actually a lot as it is very compacted underneath those eggs.

Pad Grapow Beef with Egg and rice (RM7.00)

Don't see it black black like this, very spicy oh...you can't differentiate the chopped long beans and chopped chilli padi. Damn pedas ok the chilli padi.

Footlong sausage only RM 7.00

Everyone ordered this, total of 5 orders. This was highly recommended by Patrick.
The funny thing is, the waitress that took our order, is talking like those video that is played slow-motion. She wanted to tell us that they are only left with 2 footlongs. It took her like a minute to get the message across.

'sorr...reeee....(a long pause) we...on..nee have 2 foot longs left... cannnn youuu orrr..derrrr.. someee... things... else...'

Then we we like listening till our head tilt to one side. Before she can even finish we had figured out what she was trying to tell us midway..Haha!

Beef Burger with Fries (RM6.50)

Very thick le, The buns are nice and crispy. Nice, they make good fries too!

Shita was like..Wah..so big ah the sausage!

Tetty just can't wait anymore , open mouth big big!!

Chomp!!!

Azian will hate us for this, because when we went to buffalo, she was fasting. Now, we went without her again because she is having her Raya Holiday. Haha!! Sorry Azian. We'll take you there next time OK?

Cameron Trip

I have been a few road trips around Malaysia for this year. So that's why i didn't manage to go for an overseas trip this year. Cash out all my money on these road trips. What to do!! Obligation la, also spend family time together on a trip is also a great way to bond right? I still have my Malacca Road Trip, Penang Road Trip and my Weekend getaway in Genting entry pending. Will find time for that, for now, it is picture time for my short trip to Cameron Highlands! Yea, went to both Highlands already, To Fraser's hill then my Highland Trip will be complete! Haha!!

Went up to Cameron with my parents. Yea, I'm a daddy's girl. Most of my road trips are with my parents. This time i was forced to go down with them, because they don't want me to be at home alone. Yeah, excuses right. They know i will bring some guys home and have slumber party la.

This is the Annual Dinner my Dad's company organize. They even have a night stay at the Dahlia Apartments. It's a big family room where we get to share with another family. We reached there a bit late, so we only manage to get the small room for the 3 of us. I end up sleeping at the couch at night, poor me. But nothing to complain because it is given all for free.

The hall that becomes my bedroom

The Kitchen

The room

View outside the room, but it is inside of the apartment premise

Little Garden

Just love the staircase

Saw that bridge???

Can't help myself, have to take this pic at the elevator.

After reaching putting our luggage, we head straight off to the restaurant for dinner.

The restaurant!

After a few minutes, Jam packed!

We need to take a short 3 minutes walk to the actual restaurant. It is located behind a nursery, nice flowers blooming along the way.

White Hibiscus

Orange Hibiscus

Not sure what flower but still

Finally we reached the restaurant, very flora and fauna kind of feeling. Very peaceful and serene.

The stone bridge crossing over to the other side of the restaurant

Nice right? The man made river separate the restaurant into 2 sections.

The whole event was so so only for me. The food sucks, all the food that they serve are vegetables. Konon la we are at Cameron, the greens there are fresh and cheap. I only remember one marmite chicken and the 6 of the remainder dishes were various vegetables, yucks!

The next day, i forced my dad to take me to the strawberry farm. There are so many of those farms, we went to the nearest one. My dad la, not wanting to explore a little, hehe.

Yea, healthy indeed.

I wanted to go to those self picking strawberry farm. Guess it would be expensive, do i didn't explore la. Strawberry picking alone would be very lonely le.

Mom excited, hehe.

Beautiful white flowers

Oh, a ripe strawberry ready to be picked!

This nursery is not that big as i expected. I've seen bigger ones on the way down

Definitely you'll find cactus at any nursery in Cameron

Insect eating plant, hehe

Love purple flowers

My mom like this one

Strawberry nursery from the top view

More purple flowers

I saw this weird looking plant and was curious

It actually looks good le, very nice

Need i say anymore!

Inside the nursery there's a small store that sells little souvenirs and candies

Typical strawberry Lollipops

Key chains!

Specially love these strawberry key chains

Don't know what is these for. still looks nice

These are the real thing la!! Red and juicy and freshly picked strawberries!

Another strawberry shop on the way down that i just have to stop and take pictures.

Nice giant strawberries

Strawberry Arches

Sell anything strawberry. Tea, jams, candies, cookies, jams, you name it.

What is going to Cameron without going to the tea plantation right?

Just took some pictures while passing through only.

It was exceptionally cold that day as it rained in the morning.

Love the mist

Hilltop, overlooking the strawberry farm

Winding road on our way down from Cameron. Would love to go visit Cameron again, but those winding road makes me think twice. All and all it was a great trip. Love all those picture i took, especially those taken at the Strawberry Farm. Hope you like the pictures too.