Happily Ever After ??!!??!!

I guess the latest topic that everyone is talking are about marriage. Even my friends are blogging about this topic (refer to Canna). Maybe is because friends around my age are at a marriageable age, most of them are in the midst of planning to get prepared for the Year 2009.

There's one particular close friend of mine just got married in early September 2007. He has always been very good around girls and i know most of his more than a handful of partners. Most of them can't get along with me and another friend of mine because both of us are girls and it seems that a guy and a girl can't be 'just friends'. Girls around him are always insecure and objected him from meeting us, not even a simple lunch. The worst part is, he always try to please them until a day that he explode. Is this really 'LOVE' that everyone is talking about?

The big question is 'WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE GET MARRIED'? I have friends that are married already. Most of them don't practice safe sex and accidentally got pregnant, which have ruin their life and have no options but stop furthering studies and be a housewife. I'm not saying that being a housewife is bad, it's that..you are only 21 years old. There are so many things ahead of you to look forward to, to explore, to learn and to experience.

Some people get married just for the sake of wanting to get married. Some because other friends are getting married, so they don't want to lose out and plan for a marriage, some wanted it for their 21st birthday present. Is it because of LOVE the main reason for marriage? i don't think so! It's like a Rat Race out there, people comparing on the total guest they have invited, location of their wedding dinner, wedding pictures, wedding bands, the date that they are getting married, the reception, the car escort, even their husband are being compared. It's never-ending.

I feel is more like a fashion trend, marriage is no longer taken seriously. Wedding bands are like 'Accessories' to show off to friends. It does not symbolizes anything significant to anyone anymore. Is LOVE the main reason for marriage? Or is it just lust and desire? A Fashion Trend? Is it the personality of the partner the main factor? What about compatibility? I wonder myself. LOVE is so overrated, i guess there won't be any specific answer to my questions.

Marriage is no longer about 'I-want-to-grow-old-with-you' or 'i-want-to-have-beautiful-kids-with-you'. It's like what you see in Hollywood, people get married and divorce so frequently and easily. I guess normal people like us won't be handle so many marriages that ends with 'irreconcilable differences'. That is the most common statement or i can say 'reasons' that the Hollywood Artistes use to file for any divorce.

Why are the divorce rates are getting higher by the days? The more civilized we become, the more ignorant we become. What if it involves kids? What will happen to them? Sigh! People can be so selfish nowadays. Who is it to blame? The television (Haha)!' Always blame the westerner for bad influences. Our upbringing? Or people just don't really care anymore? If people don't take marriage seriously, the why in the first place people get married anyway? I just don't understand people nowadays.

It is not a 'Game' or something that you can play around with. People always say that marriage is about 2 person. Lovers always say that it is about 'You and Me', unfortunately, it is not only about 2 person but it is more than that. When you are married, not only you are married to the person that you love but you are also 'married' into his/her family. Decisions made, are no longer for 2 person. It involves each and every member of the family around you. I may be wrong, but this is what i think after listening and seeing some problems that people face.

I was watching this movie 'Shall we Dance' i don't know about how many thousand time. There's this particular dialog and caught my attention. As i say ah..most of my friends are getting married, so i just want to share the excerpt with everyone that is married or getting married. I feel it is quite true what 'Susan Sarandon' had said in this scene. She had hired a private investigator to check on her husband (Richard Gere) who she suspects was having an affair. But later found out that he was actually out taking dancing lessons. The private investigator told that he is going for a dancing competition and she said she want to be there to witness it. The private investigator was shocked, and he asked why are you doing this?

She answered:

"Why is it do you think people get married? Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does anyone life really mean? But in a marriage, you are promising to care about everything. The GOOD things, the BAD things, the MUNDANE things, ALL OF IT, EVERYTIME, EVERYDAY. You are saying, your life will not go unnoticed, because i will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because i will be your witness."

I really like what she said, it gives me a different perspective of marriage. I guess her statement said it all. The most important thing is that you want your life partner to know each and everything about you, what you do, your dreams and share your life experiences.